Heart on Fire

I've been giving my past a lot of thought simply because a couple of my friends have hit ruff patches in their lives and are having dark thoughts. Trying to help then brings bad floods of memories of the darkest days of my life, most of my friends know the just of it but not every aspect of it. It's not something I like to really think about, but I guess it time to let it all out regardless oh whom may read it, I no longer care.

I have never been the happiest of people, even when I was younger. I mean my real father left, we moved away form the one place were I felt accepted to a place were I was bullied everyday. So my younger years were hell most of the time but meh it's life. As I got older it got a little more easier to deal with but i always felt like a reject, an outcast. But thought out all the hardships I dealt with growing up, family or school wise it never brought me to the edge of no return.

My dark days officially started 3 years ago when I met my ex. I mean ya things felt amazing and so right at the time but I was stupid and weak and naive at the time. We had so many more downs then ups whether we were friends or dating it was sickening. It was never the healthiest of relationships, but I guess I just really wanted to have someone in my life whom I thought truly cared for me ,that I was blind to everything.

Last thanksgiving all hell broke loose, what had been said to me I hadn't seen coming at all and normally I could tell when things would end but this time I was blindsided. I think in a way that had been his plan the whole time, change up his routine to get be to believe things were better when in fact all was fake.

When we parted ways it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I pretended to be so strong when in fact I was an empty shell of a person. I'd hang with my friends and smile but I'd be void of emotions. I went on dates, made out with guys and felt nothing at all. When ever my friends wanted to go out drinking I was all for it cuz I'd drink to feel better, to hide the pain and the numbness. It felt like I was drowning, almost like I lost my oxygen.

I felt like a was a drug addict who was trying to get clean. I couldn't sleep, I cried all the time, I couldn't breath. My heart hurt 24/7. I had lost my best friend, someone whom I had cared deeply for, someone whom I wanted to have a life with later on in life. I was a fool, I pushed my friends away, I quit my job, my life was spiraling out of control and I felt like I was drowning I despair. I felt like I'd never breath or see the light again.

But that all changed months again, I took a had look at my self and I said snap out of it women he isn't worth this. I fought tooth and nails to drag my self out of the pit of hopelessness I had created. I slipped back in a few time but I kept fighting my way out and I'm glad I did.

My life had truly changed, I've let go of my demons, my past it no longer controls me. I'm happy and only feel light. I still have lots to work though in life but I see that light at the end of the tunnel, I've almost reached it!

My tweeps have help me a lot in my healing process, they listened to my stories and it was nice to have people listen who didn't know what the situation was like at the start. I'm no the same girl I was before. I've come to realize the dying of the hair and the nose ring was a way to try and discover who I was. I'm happy to have my natural color back I've missed it. I finally feel like my self again.

I haven't e confidence and happiness, I also have faith in god and other things that have helped me ^_^, I'm happy to be alike and free from the chains that have bound me for so long.

So a word to my readers, it is possible to overcome your darkness and pain all you need is the will to fight against it. You can over come all odds if you believe you can!!

Love you all xoxo this is my story, think what you will be it's helped me to shape me into a better person so I don't regret a single things. It's made me grow and mature so I'm happy with the results !! <3

Between is the first instalment in the Between series by the Very talented Cyndi Tefft.
 
Book description:
 
It just figures that the love of Lindsey Water's life isn't alive at all, but the grim reaper, complete with a dimpled smile and Scottish accent.

After transporting souls to heaven for the last 300 years, Aiden MacRae has all but given up on finding the one whose love will redeem him and allow him entry through the pearly gates.

Torn between her growing attraction to Aiden and heaven's siren song, Lindsey must learn the hard way whether love really can transcend all boundaries
 
My Lord I don't even know where to begin on how to put into words how absolutely magnificent and wonderful this novel was * girly squeal*. This book took my breath away so many times I lost count I swear. I had meant to read this book ages ago and now I'm very very happy I finally did. The moment I started this book I couldn't put it down for one second. I think I stayed up almost every night till 3:00 am because I was so absorbed in the magnetism of every written word. This book is so spell bounding and heartfelt, not to mention saucy, with brilliant humour. Cyndi truly knows how to captivate her readers and get them begging for more. If fallen in love with Lindsey and Aiden's story, I haven't been captivated by a love story in awhile now, especially where I love both characters. She did an amazing job at writing her character, Lindsey is caring with a touch of spunk. She's so endearing and lovable that you can't help but care for her. While Aiden is just spectacular, otherworldly, sexy, smart and sassy. Who wouldn't love a Scot who knew nothing about this world and had questions for everything. His accent and his knowledge of the world would blow your mind, that I promise you( mine was blow).
 
This book gripped me in so many aspects I wouldn't even know where to being. Every fleeting heartbeat they experience I felt them in my own heart. God I don't even remember the last time I cried so much over a book, my heart broke over and over again every time Lindsey's did, not to mention I was thinking about what Aiden must be feeling so that tore at me :'(. I'm so glad I keep reading when it got sad because that's when you really saw how much these two truly and how deep their love ran. This novel has left me speechless and wanting to read the second book right away.
 
I promise you that you will not be disappointed if you read this intoxicating book, I mean it!! I could barely sleep because I kept wanting to know what would happen(very restless nights haha). My sleep deprivation was well worth it. You get to let your self go while reading this novel and just enjoy the pure wonders of the enchanting realms and heart pounding romance of the strangest sort. Their love will make no sense at first or seem so unlikely viable but eventually you won't question it.
 
If I could give this novel 20 stars I would so sadly I can only give it 5..
This is a phenomenal piece of work, so don't miss out READ IT!! ^_^
 
Also if you have then you should read the second instalment called Hell Transporter

So come and fall in Love with Lindsey and Aiden!!!!!

So today I a great surprise waiting for me when I went on my lunch break. I'm so used to having a bunch of missed messages on my phone but this message was surprising. Abbi Glines one of my favorite authors of all time was having a giveaway from her new release Fallen Too Far. I "pimped" twitter, Facebook, blog and all with Fallen Too Far mentions, to to mention I changed my display and profile pictures to represent the awesomeness that the books was. Well anyways today I have a tweet from her saying I won one of the signed copies and the email her my mailing address. I couldn't believe it, I mean I never win stuff nor am I lucky. This week along my other author commented on my review^_^. Life might have finally turned around:).

I don't think I have even gotten so many precious gifts in my life ^_^, nor have I ever gotten things from people whom I have never had the actual pleasure of meeting. I've received gifts from France, UK and the USA. When I had received my first gift from my friend Jen who lives in the USA I was so ecstatic, first piece of mail for me in a very long time :). The reason she sent me anything was because I helped promote Patch in the YA Tournament, it was very sweet of her. The second gift I received was a signed card from my friend Manon who lives in France. She went to meet Becca the author of Hush Hush and the creator of Patch. She asked her to sign something for all of us because she knew we couldn't meet her, and she got me one because she knew I would forget to ask her to personalise my signed copy of Finale. With the card she and her boyfriend enclosed a very sweet and funny note. My third Gift was from my friend Cara who lives in the UK, she wrote me a very touching letter, she sent a very beautiful card with a signed postcard from Lauren Kate , with a book mark from Alyson Noel. She also included a box of Cadbury chocolates because she wasn't sure we had them here in Canada hahah too funny yet very kind :). My fourth gift was from Jen, she had sent a few of us an Amazon gift card. Finally had to make an account on there haha , can't wait to use it :P . My fifth and final gift was sent to me by Manon and Mehdy for new years. The made me a homemade card of sorts with a message in the back for me ^_^ they also sent me a blue Eiffel Tower key chain. It's super cute, I can't wait to go see them next year it will be so much fun :). Little gifts like this I will always treasure because they are from the heart plus they are from some very incredibly amazing people. I can't wait till I can meet them all one day<3 

I have nothing but the utmost respect for authors. They work so hard at trying to bring their ideas to life, and sometimes people don't appreciate their hard work and just bash it, which I'm completely against. If you don't like a book you read don't bring the author down because it wasn't your taste. They have to find so many ways to keep their audience entertained and hooked. They always try to find new ways to add new plot twist, undertones and kept our interested piqued. That is not an easy task, I couldn't even imagine trying lol. They have to have both the knowledge and imagination to come up with such creative ideas. Authors have the power to take us to different lands, see different creatures and different worlds altogether. With their books they transport us to different eras and mysterious adventures. Reading a book gives you a mini vacation of sorts, you get to have a break from every day life and lose your self in the wonder of it all. It's so refreshing to leave the crazy mess behind for awhile and just indulge in your fantasies. Not only do our authors and our books give us a break they also teach us life lessons it's amazing!! I truly don't know how they take simple words use it in a sentence to squeeze out a masterpiece I'm in awe ^_^. Without writers we wouldn't have a lot of the stuff we have now, like tv shows or movies or just plain old knowledge. In a way authors are my celebrities, I'm more excited for a reply from them then I would be from a famous person working in the movie industry. They are my heroes, my mentors and my teachers and yes sometimes my therapist haha.

Sweet Evil is the first Angelic, Demonic book by Wendy Higgins.

Book description:
Embrace the Forbidden

What if there were teens whose lives literally depended on being bad influences?

This is the reality for sons and daughters of fallen angels.

Tenderhearted Southern girl Anna Whitt was born with the sixth sense to see and feel emotions of other people. She's aware of a struggle within herself, an inexplicable pull toward danger, but Anna, the ultimate good girl, has always had the advantage of her angel side to balance the darkness within. It isn't until she turns sixteen and meets the alluring Kaidan Rowe that she discovers her terrifying heritage and her willpower is put to the test. He's the boy your daddy warned you about. If only someone had warned Anna.

Forced to face her destiny, will Anna embrace her halo or her horns?

The first pages of the book will have you hungry to find out what's going on. The prologue Is so beautifully written that it piques your interest right from the start. The further you move into the book you really get to see how strange and different Anna is. She's definitely not your average teenage and the sad thing is she doesn't even know why she is so uniquely different from the rest(poor thing). She's so awkward with people and doesn't really know how to just "blend" in the with the crowd. The only time she feels any sense of normalcy is when she is with her friend Jay or at home with her adoptive mother.

*MAY CONTAIN SPOILER, PROCED WITH CAUTION.*

Her friendship with Jay is something she truly treasures, I mean I'd love a friend like him who's all understanding and accepting of every part of you, I mean who doesn't want that. Her closeness with him is what makes her decide to be a little bit uncomfortable and go with him to see his favorite band play. Little did she know that at the moment her life will have forever changed.

*Enters Kaiden*
Kaiden Rowe is a drummer for Lascivious, he's good looking, charming and very British. The moment Anna lays eyes on him she's automatically drawn and enraptured by him. She can sense that this boy is different and is making her feel things she has never felt before. She just doesn't know how different he is nor what his darkest secrets are.

The connection between these two is both hypnotic yet infuriating as all hell. Throughout the novel you will see them grow closer yet always have this barrier surrounding them from truly expressing how they feel. This novel will blow your mind in so many ways and at different sections of the book. There is so much passion, unconditional love, acceptance and growth throughout this amazing masterpiece that when you put it down you will be begging for the next one to be out. The twist and turns of this novel will keep you on your feet and keep you guessing.

Wendy truly captured angelic and demonic worlds so beautifully it's almost Supernatural (those of you who watch the show will know what I mean :p). This book shows that even if you were born evil it doesn't truly make you evil, you have the power to change your destiny, and that evil is not as clear cut as we are made to believe. Things aren't always black and white, most times it's gray. This was one of the most riveting angel/demon books that I have ever had the honor of reading.

I give this masterpiece 5 stars, she did a fantastic job on this book. If you enjoyed the book make sure to check out you website for some Kaiden POV's, you will not be disappointed. Don't forget to keep a look out for Sweet Peril the second installment coming out later this year.

Heaven in the third instalment in the Halo trilogy by Alexandra Adornetto. She is one of the youngest authors that I have had the pleasure of reading her work.

Book description:

Bethany, an angel sent to Earth, and her mortal boyfriend, Xavier, have been to Hell and back. But now their love will be put to its highest test yet, as they defy Heavenly law and marry. They don’t tell Beth’s archangel siblings, Gabriel and Ivy, but the angels know soon enough, and punishment comes in a terrifying form: the Sevens, who are rogue angels bent on keeping Beth and Xavier apart, destroying Gabriel and Ivy, and darkening angelic power in the heavens.

The only way Bethany and can elude the Sevens is to hide in the open, and blend in with other mortals their own age. Gabriel and Ivy set them up at college, where they can’t reveal their relationship, and where there is still danger around each corner. Will Bethany be called back to Heaven – forever – and face leaving the love of her life.

This book was both touching and inspirational. Alexandra really hit on the spot about never giving up hope even in the darkest of hours. Heaven truly embodied what true love really means, and how your love for your family is ever lasting no matter what obstacles you may encounter. Once you open this last and final book of series you will be entrapped by all the twist and turns of the plot, you will be unwilling to put it down(I procrastinated a little with it because i new it was the last one -_-). Some moments in this novel truly touched me.

*SPOILERS PLEASE DON'T READ ON IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK*
The chapter where Gabe was willing to sacrifice his wings to save Xavier and by doing so saving Beth from heartache really resonated with me. It pulled at my heartstrings, I felt Beth's agonising pain at watching her brother sacrificing his very being to save the man she loves. I started to tear up at that moment because I was frustrated with the situation and didn't want Gabe to suffer, an angel with no wings is no angel at all. I felt white hot rage toward Lucifer for all the agony he was causing them all.
The family bond that Ivy,Beth and Gabe have is definitely otherworldly, I'm a tad jealous not going to lie. They are the prime example of how family should be like, no judgement just undying love and acceptance of one another. To be there for one another through thick and thin and to push through petty problems. I had always found Gabe to be a little hard and a bit robotic but when this terrible act was placed on him he became a bit more "human" with a rang of emotion, it was priceless to see him have mood swings :p made me love him just a bit more.

The love between Xavier and Beth was tested time and time again throughout the series but I think their biggest test took place in this book.They have been through Hell and back (literally) to be together, but now they had to fight against  a hoard of Angels called the Seven whom claim to be doing Gods work in cleaning out the unholy and unworthy. I see them more as "rebel" angels with their own twisted version on what  justice is. Not only did these two have to fight the Seven but had to at one point pretend to be brother and sister (yikes). They later had to deal with Xavier's death and reanimation with the nasty side affect of Lucifer taking possession of his body. Yet throughout all of these hardships they managed to have faith in each other and never turn away no matter the outcome. They never truly lost hope that one day things would get better and that they would be together, they may have at some point questioned their faith or lose a bit of hope but come on who wouldn't in the situation they were in. They are the epitome of true love and what everyone strives to achieve. I won't give away the end but that was their biggest test of all time and they past with flying colours :) that's all I shall say on that matter.

I think the whole series shows the readers that you should never lose hope even when your life is going through the worst of times. It also shows them to always have faith when you think there isn't a point to it. Life may be complicated and hard but never lose faith and hope that tomorrow may be better you just have to push onwards.This series gives readers the tools and lessons they can take and look at life differently and maybe turn their life around. The book also teaches us that not everything is what it seems and to look at everything with a new angle and you may have people around you right now who could help and you don't even realize it.

Alexandra has shed light on the Angelic/supernatural world in a new and fascinating way, she made us look at Heaven and God with a new perspective. There can never be good without evil but evil never wins out in the end. She merged the two beautifully, very Yin and Yang. I give this book and the series 5 stars. Very Breathtakingly beautiful and awe inspiering.

I'm more then glad to wish away the beginning of 2012 but that can not be said for the end of it. 2012 was both enlightening and painful. I spend to much of it in a cloak of pure and never ending darkness. I spend most of my days jobless and miserable. Stressing about what had become of my life and what I was going to do with it. For so long I felt like a shell of a person, someone who was worthless and unlovable. Then finally during the summer I decided to cave and get twitter *sigh* that's something I shall never regret doing. I swear I feel like I must have a guardian angel watching over me trying to get me over my funk/darkest hours. I've met some of the most unique and loving people on the planet. They have totally and forever changed my life around. I don't know how I could ever repay them or even put words to how grateful I am to everyone of them for saving me for my depression and hopelessness. For the first time in my life I feel full and happy, and I never thought I would ever feel that way without a guy in it but that's not how I feel anymore. For once I do want a man in my life, I'm content being independent and growing into the person I want to be. I feel so much joy I feel I my burst Hahhaha, these wonderful souls that I was granted the privilege of meeting have completely chased away my despair!!. I now have a job and goal that I'm working toward fulfilling ^_^. So as bad and bleak as the beginning of 2012 was the end was life changing!!. It's crazy but I feel so much closer to god then I ever have in all my years, now I feel like there is more to this in life, that there is hope. I'm very happy to finally have faith in something.

For you my friends thank you so much Manon, Jen, Abidah, Cara and Morelia you have truly saved my life even if you hadn't realized <3

Fallen Too Far is a new novel by the AMAZING Abbi Glines , author of The Vincent Boys & The Vincent Brothers and many more...

Book description:

To want what you’re not supposed to have…

She is only nineteen.

She is his new stepfather’s daughter.

She is still naïve and innocent due to spending the last three years taking care of her sick mother.

But for twenty-four year old Rush Finlay, she is the only thing that has ever been off limits. His famous father’s guilt money, his mother’s desperation to win his love, and his charm are the three reasons he has never been told no.

Blaire Wynn left her small farmhouse in Alabama, after her mother passed away, to move in with her father and his new wife in their sprawling beach house along the Florida gulf coast. She isn’t prepared for the lifestyle change and she knows she’ll never fit into this world. Then there is her sexy stepbrother who her father leaves her with for the summer while he runs off to Paris with his wife. Rush is as spoiled as he is gorgeous. He is also getting under her skin. She knows he is anything but good for her and that he’ll never be faithful to anyone. He is jaded and has secrets Blaire knows she may never uncover but even knowing all of that…

Blaire just may have fallen too far.

This book was probably one of the most riveting books I have ever had the pleasure of reading. From the moment my eyes were on the first line of the book I was enthralled. It captured my imagination and my heart all in one sitting. The moment Rush Finlay steps into the book you are captivated and intrigued by him just like Blaire. The moment you start to read you will not be able to put it down, you will be thrown into the book and feel part of it. Every emotion, every fleeting heart beat Blaire experiences you'll feel it too. My heart pounded when hers did, my heart ached when hers did, I was so sucked in that I just couldn't wait to see what happened next. Abbi has done it again, this book embodies hope, self struggle , self growth and erotic/ heartwarming romance between two people from different circles of life. You will be gripping the edge of your sit while you watch Blaire try to discover Rush's dirty little secrets. Is their connection just a lustful need or is it something more?!. Can Blaire make him change his ways or will she have to move on?! You will be shocked by what the ending brings you, you will be begging for the next book to come out.

This novel is heart wrenching with a touch of flirtatious erotic fun ;). I give this tantalizing and sensational book five stars!! You will surely not be disappointed.

The sequel to this wonderful book will be out on March 12, 2013 so keep an eye out for Never Too Far.